A Very Personal Cancer Journal

EVEN THE WORD IS TERRIFYING: CANCER

A PERSONAL JOURNEY ALONG A DIFFICULT PATH

FORWARD:

The disease that we all pray does not happen to us, does unfortunately happen to some of us. Hazel is the subject of this narrative. We will follow her journey from discovery to the eventual eradication of all offending cancerous cells. If from time to time I seem to feel her pain, I do. We've been together for fifty six plus years , looking forward to at least ten more years together. The word 'cure' we have found thus far is a word that surgeons, oncologist's, scientists, and others in the field seem reluctant or indeed forbidden to use. It is a fact that there is no cure, so they use percentages to gauge your prognosis. i.e. I believe you will be 95% cancer free when all is done. That is as good as it can get. For the record, Hazel has been diagnosed as having breast cancer, stage one. The journey begins.


The letter came from breast imaging and they had the block checked which stated, "Please schedule another mammogram". This one was inconclusive and probably would be fine on the retake. They saw a shadow they said. Nothing to get too worried about.

The second one concluded there definitely was something and perhaps an ultrasound is called for. Finally, after a total of eleven assorted types of mammogram's and one ultrasound and one needle biopsy, after which the radiologist inserted a marker at the site. She then met with the doctor who would become her oncologist. She and I sat in a tiny examination room out of words, fear and apprehension of the immediate future, and what he would say encompassed us completely, absolutely unable to keep our fear inside ourselves as the doctor entered the room. Small talk at this time was ludicrous so we sat there looking at each other, when the door opened and he stationed himself more or less between us in a room that seemed smaller than my closet at home. We tried reading his face and demeanor. If lack of smiles was any indicator we were in trouble. He didn't waste time or words but found a way to not use the word. He told us that he had found a small malignancy, and the next immediate words became lost in emotions desperately loose in this little room.

Immediately thereafter because speed was of the essence, or they wanted to keep her so busy she would forget her misery, they sent Hazel to the hospital to undergo many tests to provide the surgeon information that would be needed before the operation took place. All the procedures that took place were, according to my wife Hazel by which she will be known for the rest of this narrative, painless, except one. For this she had to report to the nuclear department. This alone should have sent spasms of fear through anyone, but who knew?

The purpose of the visit was to inject radio active dye into Hazel's breast for tracking purposes of the disease. Now a little history is required here, Hazel when facing an operation or some procedure at the dentist can gather herself to weather what is to come as stolidly as necessary, but not this time. The technician was apologetic even before he administered four (4) injections into her nipple. She reports that this was the absolute worst pain ever administered by a health professional. I can't help but repeat the oft used phrase by anyone having to undergo the nightmare that won't go away, why her?

The day of the surgery dawned cold with snow showers. Hazel was scheduled early at the imaging center for the purpose of having a 'wire' inserted into her breast to mark the spot for the surgeon. The results of her many mammogram's had determined that she had an 5mm x 8mm tumor. For the medically disadvantaged that is a very small tumor. The doctor elected to do a lumpectomy, and Hazel agreed. Local anesthetic was not an option, and a general was given. The surgery was over in an hour and a half.

The wait started as Hazel recuperated and we all waited for the doctor to appear with his findings. My sister-in-law had come to sit with me in the reception area, and offer encouragement and a shoulder if need be. We waited.

I thought the plan was for the doctor to come to the reception area and present us with the results of this operation. We waited some more. Finally word was given to me by one of the receptionists to please meet with the doctor in the 'family conference' room. OMG, my heart fell to the floor. What the hell is this? This can't be good. I've seen many too many movies with 'family conference rooms' in them to be lulled into thinking this is nothing but bad news. The sister-in-law and I asked for directions and I, mumbling under my breath, at least I think it was under my breath, but really I could have cared less if the whole place was offended by what I may have said. My whole world was predicated upon a mere doctor. I think I needed a God of some kind to bring this situation to a good conclusion.

We found the room and seated ourselves, waiting again. In just a few minutes the doctor arrived and pronounced without a dramatic moment that he had news and all of it was good. I breathed.

The good news was that he removed all of the tumor and he also removed three lymph nodes so he could have them tested further to make sure the cancer was contained. His tests at operation time were that they were negative. What a beautiful word, negative.

Now a period of recuperation was started. It turned out to be about four weeks. One other good piece of news we received was that the lymph nodes that were sent away for further evaluation came back negative also. Our cup runneth over.

The recuperation time was over. Now began radiation therapy. One treatment of approximately fifteen minutes once a day, five days a week, to total about thirty-five to thirty- six treatments.

Side effects and damage to the skin after approximately seven weeks of radiation being blasted at, in, and around her will be what she must endure. Trying to accept what has happened to her will be a large task. She has only now taken one small step in that direction. Week one is complete and the only side effect thus far is fatigue, itching, and redness at the treatment site.

PART II


The next two months of your life is going to center around your radiation treatment. Hazel's visits there will be the centerpiece of each of her mornings for the next seven weeks; Five treatments, five days a week for seven weeks.

We have no other experience of other radiation centers so this will be the only one we can comment on. It is a new, so they say it is a state of the art facility. It is clean, and large. When we enter the facility Hazel goes through another set of doors into the treatment area and I, make myself comfortable in the outer room with other patients waiting, or relaxing after the treatment. It is a help yourself environment with coffee, tea, hot chocolate, soda pops and/or whatever a vending machine can offer. In a windowed alcove they always have a couple jigsaw puzzles in progress. Magazines scattered here and there and large wall sized windows letting in lots of light, environmentally and mentally uplifting, with an asterisk on the mentally uplifting.

On one of Hazel's visits we were amused and amazed by a visit from a lady and her Bichon Frise dog. They were there to help take some of the patients minds off of their reason for being there and just to let them pet the animal, and talk baby talk or dog talk to it. The dog I think received as much love as he gave to the people. The little dog was as cute as the one's they use in commercials with a coat of white and big round black eyes. They also visit the hospital, and senior citizen facilities. God I am sure has special regards for people who are as caring and as giving as they are.

I have become aware that people want to talk about their problem, but will not initiate a conversation until I do. I find that trying to be fairly cheerful and greeting them with a good morning is better than not. After all there is a chance that we might see each other daily for a good portion of Hazel's seven weeks. I am also taken with the good humor of some, even though their stories and prognosis are not always the best. Some are going through an additional series of treatments for one reason or another, but certainly not because things are great. But they keep as cheerful an outlook as possible under the circumstances.

Being that the patient is scheduled for the same time everyday for varying amount of weeks it is run as informally as possible. Hazel leaves me each morning after arriving and goes into the adjoining treatment room where she disrobes. In Hazel's case it is only her top, and she puts on one of those beautiful, and you know you agree, hospital tops. Hazel's time on the behemoth, as she calls it is short. It usually takes a total of fifteen minutes, with ten minutes of that time being taken up by placement so she is in exactly the same spot each and every time. This is vital so accuracy not speed is the watchword. Hazel will be at the half way mark tomorrow and so far, so good. The discomforts she is, and has suffered, are itching skin in the breast and occasional pains. The skin is feeling raw and a feeling like a burn which is relieved somewhat with ointment applied in copious amounts. The burning although not painless is understandable from the radiation being absorbed. An extra amount of optimism and understanding that the cure, although somewhat painful, is routing out the demons that have trespassed uninvited. Making light of a very serious and sometimes tragic turn of events is hard to do when you really want to fly off into a tangent spouting every curse word you've ever learned, but you cope.

Part III

The ordeal of radiation therapy is coming to an end for Hazel. Monday will be her 36th and final treatment. She tells me that the whole experience for her was much less traumatic than what she thought it would be. The God who is in charge of the dreaded side effects department dealt kindly with her she believes. Yes she has radiation burn. Yes, she has occasional flashes of pain. But it has not completely sapped her energy nor effected her ability to carry out her daily activities. The amount of actual time spent at the radiation center is minimal, and the flexibility of the scheduling should accommodate most people so they can continue their daily schedules as close to normal as possible.

On a personal note, I must say she has been very brave and has throughout the whole ordeal kept as the Brits say, a stiff upper lip. I, on the other hand, am damn glad it's over. At least this portion is over. Now she will have to start a pill regimen that is scheduled to last five years with dozens and dozens of side effects. Each person of course is different and what side effects will effect the individual is of course different.

2 comments:

Melissa said...

Go Hazel! I've been thinking of you two.

10:47 AM

Bill Crider said...

Glad to hear this good news.

3:41 PM

Hazel's Feelings

February 22 was my first radiation treatment appointment. I've never been so scared in all my life. I wanted to bolt out the door, run home, get into my chair, cover up, and never leave the house again. Obviously I did not run away. As my radiation oncologist had promised, the treatments were painless---I survived.

Monday April 12 was my 36th and final treatment. My support person, AKA my loving husband Jim and I had been going there for seven weeks and one day, so I entered with a happy heart knowing that it would finally be over.

Imagine my surprise when the final treatment was over, 'the stiff upper lip' collapsed and upon leaving the building-I burst into tears! Instead of being elated I was depressed the rest of the day and part of Tuesday. Fortunately those 'blues' have gone and 'happy' has returned.

I think it was the stress of coping with a nightmare from Christmas Eve until April 12 was finally set free.

Posted by jimkitt at 2:48:00 PM 0 comments

Flag by Jasper Johns

Laura Vere-Hodge of Christies walks along a gallery containing Picasso's "Femme et Fillettes" (L) and "Flag" by artist Jasper Johns at the auction house in London. The paintings are part of the collection of Michael Crichton, best selling author of Jurassic Park, which will highlight a sale of post-war and contemporary art at Christies in New York on May 11. REUTERS/Kevin Coombs.

I ran across this pic at shorpys.com this morning. It was captioned 1937 Minnesota saloon. My God, it makes me feel as old as dirt. I arrived on this earth in July 1937, I was already two months old. I feel though like I must have been put down in the middle of a film noir shooting.

Book comes to life

Poor Vimrod, life is great but because of TV? Try again.

Think old, get old. Think young, well maybe.

The Aviators

A new PBS show starting in June this year? looks like an interesting event to me, even though I really do not like to fly, I still admire the airplanes and the people who fly them.

The US Congress Wake Up Call Is Being Sounded.

The following editorial originated at The Baxter Bulletin, Mountain Home Ark. with no further attribution. I've read it over three times and it seems to state the sorry state of our political parties exactly. If something is not done to correct the situation, and soon, I worry about us, the USA, declining into a state of ineffectiveness. The world needs us to man a moral compass and to illustrate to the rest of the world what is possible living in a free society. I'm afraid all we are showing now is a gang of angry men and women in the congress speaking in angry strident voices protecting individual fiefdoms. They seem to have forgotten that our business is their business, our welfare is their business. They have turned into a nest of very unpleasant people dedicated, it seems, only to the welfare of themselves and/or their party. The welfare of the country and it's citizens has lost out. The congress must relocate those higher values they espoused when they asked their fellows to send them to Washington, or like Bayh suggested, we should throw them out. If we wish to continue being that last great beacon of freedom ascribed to us on that lady in the New York harbor, holding up that torch and bragging how good we can be, we had better do some deep thinking and check and recheck how easy the freedoms too many people have fought and died for could be eroded and lost.

___________________________________________

Bayh echoes how many Americans feel

There's just too much brain-dead partisanship, tactical maneuvering for short-term political advantage rather than focusing on the greater good."

That's how U.S. Sen. Evan Bayh, D-Ind., summed up what's happening in Congress and Washington, D.C. during an interview on ABC's "Good Morning America."

The day before, Mr. Bayh announced he's not seeking re-election to the Senate, saying, "I love helping our citizens make the most of their lives, but I do not love Congress."

With the return of partisan gridlock in the Senate, extremists on the left and right battling for their agendas instead of America's and common sense being trampled in the process, many Americans have the same feelings as Mr. Bayh toward Congress. They have those same feelings toward Washington as a whole.

As we've pointed out before, the moderate voice, the voice of reason, can't be heard over the shouting by the extremes of both parties. There's little, if any room, for compromise to produce legislation and policy that are beneficial for the American public.

Like the proverbial squeaky wheel, the loudest get the attention in Washington while today's new silent majority goes overlooked, ignored and pushed aside. It's one reason so many Americans are angry and frustrated with government.

Most Americans aren't totally right or left, liberal or conservative. They occupy the ever-eroding center ground, and just as the economic and social middle class is being squeezed toward being an endangered species, so are political moderates.

Obstinate ideology is overtaking common sense as politicians more and more adopt the "my way or the highway" philosophy. Unfortunately, it's the people who bear the brunt of this bullheadedness.

Mr. Bayh addressed that in his television interview, saying, "The extremes of both parties have to be willing to accept compromises from time to time to make some progress because some progress for the American people is better than nothing, and all too often recently we've been getting nothing."

Whatever happened to the days of moderate Republicans and Democrats, the ones who could iron out differences and produce strong, effective legislation for the country? What happened to the times when party politics could be set aside to deal with issues clearly important to the American people? They've been replaced by puffery and demagoguery.

While there is speculation Mr. Bayh might consider a 2012 presidential run — although he said he has no interest, "none whatsoever" — for the moment he just sounds as disgusted with the whole mess as are the American people. He's said he thinks he can accomplish more good for the country in the private sector than in Congress.

However, Mr. Bayh also echoed the sentiment of many Americans on how they can deal with the problems in Congress.

"The people who are just rigidly ideological, unwilling to accept practical solutions somewhere in the middle, vote them out, and then change the rules so that the sensible people who remain can actually get the job done," said the retiring senator. "Congress needs to listen and the American people need to help with this process."

Remember, those are words from a moderate Democrat.

Street person in the winter

Photo from joes nyc. The heartiness of the man in the unforgiving cold is a tribute to his desire to survive. His mind obviously is working and adroit enough to work crosswords. How did we get into our current status of fostering a sub-set of people known as Street people? Our country, not that long ago, seemed to be more caring and willing to help. I'm as bad as the next, I look right over them, perhaps because I haven't a clue what to do for them or about them.

Newspaper Boat-Mike Worrall

Dr. Zhivago's revenge

This seems to be the winter that tries men's endurance and insulation. We here in Ohio live in surroundings that are fast beginning to look like Dr. Zhivago's winter home. My neighbor has stopped using her snow blower because the snow piled on the side of her driveway is too high for the new snow to get over. She has taken to using her shovel now. Luckily my snow blower must have a couple more horsepower in it, or whatever, and still blows it over the snow piled on the sides.

I've just heard that today's special on our snow menu is going to be ice coming out of the heavens. Just the thing to add a little shiny glitter, and perhaps a little preservative for longer lasting staying power for the snow we already have. I say that because according to the weather man/woman, their little weather pictures for fri-sat-sun shows more, yeah you got it, snow coming.

The gutters over my screened in back porch have frozen over, and icicles of Olympic size have formed putting anyone venturing out the back door in extreme danger of being impaled to the ground to be preserved there until spring arrives.

Luckily I am retired and after dressing in my winter regalia and venturing out onto the frozen tundra to clean off the driveway, just in case we have to get the car out so we can go to the store to purchase a chocolate cake or some such necessity such as that, I can then return to the warm confines of our house and amuse myself with a book or some music coming over the radio playing such seasonal favorites like winter wonderland.

Master of my ship

"What's so important about being master of my ship anyhow, unless maybe if the ship was red."

The Fan-it's scary.

I'm a little late viewing this film, but if you like Robert De Niro, the scary De Niro, than this is the one for you. He is scary. Remember you baseball fans, it's only a game.

Wasteful, stupid wars.

War's have been used to settle differences among men since the beginning of time.

Howard Fast relates this story in his novel, The Immigrant's Daughter.

From the words written by the Greek playwright Euripides almost two and a half thousand years ago, spoken by the Trojan woman Hecuba after the Greeks sacked Troy.

"I was the mother of brave sons. They were not ordinary children, but the pride of Phrygia, beautiful children. No Trojan or Greek or Barbarian mother could boast such children. All these I have seen killed by the spears of the Greeks; I wept on their coffins and cut my hair to it's roots. Before my eyes, my beloved husband, Priam, was murdered, butchered in his own house. My city was captured. This I saw and watched. My daughters, whom I loved and raised for good marriage, they were taken from me to be whores for strangers. No hope ever to see them again,no hope, and myself--to crown my misery, I shall be taken in bondage to Greece, a slave in my old age, to die a slave."

Many years later, but no smarter, we conclude one war in Iraq and seque directly into another in Afghanistan. Hecuba, we haven't gotten any smarter, we still squander our people and our treasures on war.

If you think this economy is bad, in the thirties people were desparate for money. They entered the DANCE MARATHON.

Dance marathons were cruel events staged and participated in by desparate, broke people. Here is an essay of such an event in Washington state. There were no government assistance back then so they did what they could. Read more here.

Name that politician with just one guess

OMG Wall Street is helping bolster the Euro. Beware Europe, Wall street has done a bang up job over here.

February 14, 2010

Wall St. Helped Greece to Mask Debt Fueling Europe’s Crisis
By LOUISE STORY, LANDON THOMAS Jr. and NELSON D. SCHWARTZ

Wall Street tactics akin to the ones that fostered subprime mortgages in America have worsened the financial crisis shaking Greece and undermining the euro by enabling European governments to hide their mounting debts.AA

As worries over Greece rattle world markets, records and interviews show that with Wall Street’s help, the nation engaged in a decade-long effort to skirt European debt limits. One deal created by Goldman Sachs helped obscure billions in debt from the budget overseers in Brussels.

Even as the crisis was nearing the flashpoint, banks were searching for ways to help Greece forestall the day of reckoning. In early November — three months before Athens became the epicenter of global financial anxiety — a team from Goldman Sachs arrived in the ancient city with a very modern proposition for a government struggling to pay its bills, according to two people who were briefed on the meeting.

The bankers, led by Goldman’s president, Gary D. Cohn, held out a financing instrument that would have pushed debt from Greece’s health care system far into the future, much as when strapped homeowners take out second mortgages to pay off their credit cards.

Wars suck

Who needs a broker?

Knitting class

Dreams

I find as I get seriously older that my dreams are becoming very perplexing. For example I find myself back at work (I've been retired for thirteen years) and I don't have a clue what I am doing, like I ever did. I also am being treated to the 'I'm lost' genre. I think they are very ordinary type dreams, but why not sitting in the sun watching the Cleveland Indians winning yet another game on their way to a 100 win season? Sounds impossible, but after all I'm talking about dreams.

How to find inner peace from Harold's Planet

Messy Room

Messy Room by Shel Silverstein

Whosever room this is should be ashamed!
His underwear is hanging on the lamp.
His raincoat is there in the overstuffed chair,
And the chair is becoming quite mucky and damp.
His workbook is wedged in the window,
His sweater's been thrown on the floor.
His scarf and one ski are beneath the TV,
And his pants have been carelessly hung on the door.
His books are all jammed in the closet,
His vest has been left in the hall.
A lizard named Ed is asleep in his bed,
And his smelly old sock has been stuck to the wall.
Whosever room this is should be ashamed!
Donald or Robert or Willie or--
Huh? You say it's mine? Oh, dear,
I knew it looked familiar!

Breast Cancer Stamps--BUY THEM.

The gift I prayed for came true for me, and perhaps it can for millions of others through research. The scourge that is breast cancer can be defeated. All that most of us can do is offer up some money to fund the science that will someday beat the dreaded disease. The USPS offers stamps at eleven dollars per book of twenty, about three dollars more than normal rate. The extra money goes to the cancer society to fight breast cancer. I checked Snopes.com, although I knew it was legitimate, before I would ask you to please invest the extra three dollars. If it saves you from hearing the words, "There are malignant cells etc. etc." and your world starts to crumble, it will be the best small investment you'll ever make. Also if the most important woman in your life does not get an annual mammogram please encourage her to do so. That is without a doubt the reason the most important woman in my life will beat this damn disease.

E-Reader's and we old folks-good idea I think

Since the subjects of the moment are E-Readers, here is a cheat sheet comparing some of the best known. I am one of the old folks who just might in the future be looking to move to an assisted living concern and I would be faced with moving many box loads of books. I think I would opt for giving them away before I did that though. I like the idea in the comic strip a lot. I think I will be looking for an E-Reader for my wife and I in the future.

Remembering Parker

It's been a couple weeks now since Robert B. Parker died at his desk writing. I have thought of his loss frequently since it happened. Frequently is a lot in this day of fifteen minute fame. I looked forward to his two books each year and the further adventures of Spenser and his extended family from Susan to the guys at the police station or to a new cowboy saga to Holly and her new beat with the company. Here is a very nice remembrance by Steven Axelrod I found on the Salon blog. Parker had a lot of fans, Steven was one of them.

Well my hearing is about shot, but I don't have a bike

The Future of Books Looks a Lot Like the Past

The Future of Books Looks a Lot Like the Past

How do you turn it on?

Exploding Boobs, yes you read right.

From MOTHER JONES: I really don't know what to comment about this. Unless to comment on how the world is going to hell in record speed.

Exploding Boobs: The Next Terrorist Threat?

— By Stephanie Mencimer

| Tue Feb. 2, 2010 7:49 AM PST

If you aren't reading WorldNetDaily, you're really missing out. Today, for instance, the paranoid conservative website ran a big scoop entitled, "MI5 hunting breast implants of death." WND, which is obsessed with the "Muslim mafia," claims that Britain's intelligence service is concerned that British teaching hospitals have churned out Muslim doctors who are now returning to their home countries to outfit female suicide bombers with breast implants that blow up--and not just to a DD cup. WND cites British medical experts who reported back to MI5 that:

"Properly inserted the implant would be virtually impossible to detect by the usual airport scanning machines. You would need to subject a suspect to a sophisticated X-ray. Given that the explosive would be inserted in a sealed plastic sachet, and would be a small amount, would make it all the more impossible to spot it with the usual body scanner."

If WND is right, the breast implants of death are just one more reason the naked full-body scanners the US is scrambling to install in every airport won't make us any safer.

Here is the IPAD

Ted Turner, the premier land owner

To Ted Turner,the owner of the most real estate in the United States; I wonder is there a master plan or is it just a game of monopoly? Ted Turner Adding to Land Holdings

Hollywoods Top Money Makers

Vanity Fair lists Hollywood's top money makers. Weirdly interesting.

Mr. Eraser

Alexander Calder 1956-RED LILY PADS

Red Lily Pads (Nénuphars rouges), Alexander Calder, 1956. Painted sheet metal, metal rods, and wire. From the Alexander Calder: Retrospective Exhibition, 1964. Photograph by David Heald. Courtesy the Solomon R. Guggenheim Museum, New York. © 2007 Calder Foundation, New York/Artists Rights Society, New York.

Mike Luckovich has a pretty good read on our congress I believe.

Ammi Phillips 1788-1865

Ammi Phillips (1788–1865), a self-taught New England portrait painter, is regarded as one of the most important folk artists of his era.

Phillips was born in Colebrook, Connecticut, and began painting portraits as early as 1810. He worked as an itinerant painter in Connecticut, Massachusetts, and New York for five decades.

In 1924, a group of portraits of women, shown leaning forward in three-quarter view and wearing dark dresses, were displayed in an antique show in Kent, Connecticut. The anonymous painter of these strongly colored works, which dated from the 1830s, became known as the "Kent Limner," after the locality where they had come to light.

Stylistically distinct from those of the "Kent Limner," a second group of early-19th-century paintings emerged after 1940 in the area near the Connecticut–New York border. Attributed at the time to an unknown "Border Limner," these works, dating from the period 1812–1818, were characterized by soft pastel hues, as seen in the portrait of Harriet Leavens, now in the Fogg Art Museum, Harvard University.

It was not until 1968 that Ammi Phillips's identity as the painter of both groups of portraits was established. Additional works were identified, showing the artist's transition from the delicate coloration of the Border period to the bold and somber works that followed. By 1976, there were approximately 400 paintings securely attributed to Phillips, who is now recognized as one of the most prolific American folk painters of his time.

His work was featured on a United States postage stamp in 1998.

The originals at Microsoft

The original Microsoft people. check out the story.

Flight over Africa from Out of Africa-Great movie, Great music.

Suo Gan from Empire of the Sun

Lillian Mae Miller-Rain Blossoms

Beatien Yazz 1928 WINTER LIGHT

My Distressed Part of the State is Thrown a Life Preserver, Maybe.

For a state that has had nothing but bad economic news for a long time now, this is wonderful news. Economically staggered and left for dead when factories by the hundreds or more shuttered and left and which has been further decimated by the bad economic turndown it is news that puts a smile on my face.




Rail could be running by 2012

By TERRICHA BRADLEY
News Journal

GALION -- Cross-state passenger rail service moved closer to reality Thursday as Washington officials announced Ohio will receive $400 million to connect its three largest cities.

The U.S. Department of Transportation awarded stimulus funds to begin work connecting the "3-C Corridor" of Cleveland, Columbus, Cincinnati and Dayton. The rail will run through Crawford and Richland counties.

Ohio Department of Transportation and Ohio Rail Development Commission officials anticipate the a light-rail line, the first phase, to be running by September 2012.

"We will go to the controlling board to get approval, set agreements with the railroad and rail operator contract -- it's likely to be Amtrak," said Stu Nicholson, rail commission spokesman. "We're targeting construction for the second half of 2010."

Mansfield Councilwoman At-Large Ellen Haring, a member of the Fourth Congressional District Rail Task Force, said the group has worked for more than a year to convince state and federal officials to support rail in north central Ohio.

"This money will be a great boon to the areas close to the rail corridor," Haring said.

Shelby and Galion are in contention for a proposed station, after the second phase of the route is complete.

Gene Toy, Galion's acting city manager, said the city needs to build a depot, but has an advantage with a single southbound track.

"The depot at Pershing Avenue would be an area where there isn't a lot of CSX freight," Toy said.

All Aboard Ohio director Ken Prendergast said the $400 million in funding gives Ohio a chance to catch up with passenger rail competitors in other states. Crestline initially was under consideration, but was crossed off the list of potential stops in September.

"Passenger rail is good for our state," Sen. Sherrod Brown said. "Including a stop in north central Ohio would generate economic development and connect towns in the region to Ohio's largest cities. This is the type of infrastructure investment we need for long-term economic growth."

The amount awarded, short of the initial request of $564 million, means money will be focused on improving rail infrastructure, building stations and buying passenger rail cars.

State leaders hope expanding passenger rail in Ohio eventually will create more than 16,000 permanent jobs, in addition to tens of thousands of construction jobs. They hope it will generate more than $3 billion in development near stations and produce an annual $80 million windfall for the state's tourism industry.

Ohio is considered a key bridge for a national high-speed rail system: The route would allow riders to access the Chicago Hub and eastern seaboard.

At least six million Ohioans live within 15 miles of the proposed 250-mile route, which represents one of the densest corridors in the United States without passenger rail service.

A 2009 Amtrak study of the corridor projected ridership of 500,000 within the first year -- which would make it the 12th most traveled U.S. route -- and strong growth in the following years.

Brown has long advocated passenger rail service in Ohio. In April, Brown sent a letter to Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood urging him to devote federal stimulus funds to passenger rail in Ohio. Brown held a phone conference Thursday with LaHood.

"We were not in the ball game until today," Brown said. "It's a great day for passenger rail and a great day for our state."
Additional Facts

At a Glance

A look at Ohio's plan for passenger rail service, based on the October application for stimulus funding:

# Conventional-speed trains reaching 79 mph would connect Cleveland, Columbus, Dayton and Cincinnati.

# Trains would make six stops on the 255-mile route: downtown locations in the four major cities along with intermediate stops in west Cleveland and Sharonville Park north of Cincinnati.

# Amtrak predicts annual ridership at 478,000.

# Annual Ohio subsidy to keep service operational: $17 million.

# Estimated time for trip from Cleveland to Cincinnati: 6 hours and 30 minutes.


Source: Ohio Rail Development Commission

New York Philharmonic Principal Brass Section

A Simple Gift

Tomorrow I will be praying not for a simple gift, but a great gift when the love of my life and her surgeon fight the scourge that is cancer.

Be on the lookout.

I Appreciate TCM. You Probably Do Too.

I was watching a movie that I have seen before of course, but I really enjoy it so why not one more time. The movie was A FEW GOOD MEN, a movie that moves fairly fast but I watched it on a channel where they played maybe ten minutes of movie then the same amount of commercials. It drives a guy nuts. My point is that we should be extremely grateful for the TCM channel. Movies without commercials, and usually a host that sometimes will give us some inside info about the movie. This is great, they are great.

from the new york times comes this column by Dick Cavett about the duke John Wayne. It's quite good, but what is equally as good are the comments, and there is a bunch of them.

Great Photography from 1x.com

1x.com check it out.

How has the Internet changed the way you think?

Edge. org asks a question annually of many very intelligent people. This years question is HOW HAS THE INTERNET CHANGED THE WAY YOU THINK?

Dawkins was with us when the Internet arrived.

RICHARD DAWKINS
Evolutionary Biologist; Emeritus Professor of the Public Understanding of Science, Oxford; Author, The Greatest Show on Earth

NET GAIN

If, forty years ago, the Edge Question had been "What do you anticipate will most radically change the way you think during the next forty years?" my mind would have flown instantly to a then recent article in Scientific American (September 1966) about 'Project MAC'. Nothing to do with the Apple Mac, which it long pre-dated, Project MAC was an MIT-based cooperative enterprise in pioneering computer science. It included the circle of AI innovators surrounding Marvin Minsky but, oddly, that was not the part that captured my imagination. What really excited me, as a user of the large mainframe computers that were all you could get in those days, was something that nowadays would seem utterly commonplace: the then astonishing fact that up to 30 people simultaneously, from all around the MIT campus and even from their homes, could simultaneously log in to the same computer: simultaneously communicate with it and with each other. mirabile dictum, the co-authors of a paper could work on it simultaneously, drawing upon a shared database in the computer, even though they might be miles apart. In principle, they could be on opposite sides of the globe. MORE...

Dave Morin has lived his entire life with the Internet.

DAVE MORIN
Internet Entrepreneur; Co-Inventor, Facebook Platform and Facebook Connect

CONTEXT IS KING

My generation is the first generation that has lived their entire lives with the Internet. The Internet is how we think. We have developed a way of thinking that depends on being connected to an ever changing graph of all the world’s people and ideas. The Internet helps to define, evolve, and grow us. The Internet is social. The Internet is a way of life. The Internet provides context.

Because I have lived most of my life with the Internet, it has been the increasing the addition of new contexts which has been the thing which has most changed the way I think. In the beginning, the Internet was a giant mess of unstructured, unorganized, identity-free data spread across un-connected computers all over the world.

Then things started to change. Organizations and companies began to structure and provide context to the documents and data housed in this expanding network of the world’s computers.

Opening, connecting, and organizing the information on the world’s computers has enabled us to search for the answers to our most important questions and to provide more context to the information in our lives.

Once the world’s information was put into context, we looked beyond the keyboard, and collectively shifted to people. We focused on social context by asking questions like: Who are you? How are we connected? What is on your mind? What matters to you?

Making the Internet more social enabled people to share their real name, likeness, voice, and the things that they are connected to. Now we always have an understanding of who is talking, who and what they are connected to, what they are saying, and to whom; through understanding identity and social context we have achieved greater openness as a society.

In the future, the challenge will be continuing to add new contexts and improve existing ones in order to help people live better, happier, lives. So that no matter where you are, what you are doing, who you are with, or what you are thinking, it is always in context.

Gounod: Faust: Ballet Music Gets your blood flowing

tres petit are our television comics

Is one of the qualifications of a television comic that they must be meaner than the devil. They are being tres petit it seems to me. Leno may be the biggest putz in the world, but enough is enough I think. Somehow they don't seem that funny to me anymore.

Despair

A very effective image by Tim Gough accompanying an article in the New York Times about Haiti.

Robert B. Parker Dies

This is really bad news for Parker's fans. Gone forever are Spenser and all the rest of the great characters he created. I will surely miss his work. RIP Parker. According to the press release he felt great and didn't know it was coming. He died of a heart attack while working at his desk.

1941 Milestone Omega watch face

I love the face of this reissue of a 1941 watch. All the hands remind me of the movie Modern Times.

Paper Chase and the scary Professor Kingsfield

The television version of THE PAPER CHASE. I loved this show. I understand that the show is coming out finally on DVD. I've seen many of the old shows and I think they hold up pretty well with the passage of time. But how would you have liked to drag yourself into this guys class each day.

Go to the blog CLASSIC TV HISTORY to get some good history about the PAPER CHASE, and everything else about television. A really good blog.

The Little Boy and the Old Man by Shel Silverstein

The Little Boy and the Old Man by Shel Silverstein

Said the little boy, "Sometimes I drop my spoon."
Said the old man, "I do that too."

The little boy whispered, "I wet my pants."
"I do that too," laughed the little old man.

Said the little boy, "I often cry."
The old man nodded, "So do I."

"But worst of all," said the boy, "it seems
Grown-ups don't pay attention to me."

And he felt the warmth of a wrinkled old hand.
"I know what you mean," said the little old man.

Much ado about nothing with these comedians

I don't know about you, but I am sick of reading about Leno, O'Brien, Kimmel, Letterman and all the rest of the super rich, super ego'd employees of NBC and kibitzers from other networks go at each other, and Leno in particular. Are there a shortage of comedians? I don't think so. What would be wrong with having a different host as has been done many times before, and pick the best. Let O'Brien go to Fox, they're kind of a bunch of funny guys over there and he'd fit right in. Leno is so rich by now I would think he would enjoy some free time to look in his garages and see how many cars he has. It will give us the audience a chance to see some different humor from different comedians. Put an end to this much ado about not much of anything.

The Rich get richer, the poor get poorer....

From some oldie song there is the line: the rich get richer and the poor get poorer..
Well it seems true that the rich do catch a couple breaks on their way to getting richer. According to Harper's Index figures as of December 2009:

Number of executives at Wall Street banks so far who have been tried on criminal charges related to the financial crisis: 2
Number acquitted: 2

Percentage tax rate that Goldman Sachs paid on its profits for year 2008: 0.6

From Vintage Ads

From Vintage Ads

I've been thinking...

It seems to me that China and Internet freedom form one huge oxymoron.

It also seems to me that any marriage councelors working with this pairing would end up throwing their arms up in despair.

We older folks measure each new adventure very carefully

round man

childhood security in spades

George Will talks baseball with Charlie Rose

BIG BANKS PAY NOTHING FOR SAVINGS. GROWL.

Big Banks Pay Nothing For Savings

Posted in Investing by CrankySaver
January 10, 2010 10:00 AM
It’s come to this: The biggest banks are paying nothing for our savings.

Or at least nothing for the money we put in our savings accounts.

Here’s the return the four largest banks are now offering on their regular savings accounts:

Big Banks Pay Nothing For SavingsBank of America: 0.10% on all balances

Wells Fargo: 0.05% on balances up to $25,000

Citi: 0.25% with a $500 minimum balance

JPMorgan Chase: 0.01% all balances

For all practical purposes, that’s zero. Nada. Nothing more than pennies for your hard-earned savings.

Unfortunately, this is the entirely predictable result of the Federal Reserve’s campaign to shower commercial banks with all the free money they could possibly want. (It does that by charging them 0.0% to 0.25% for short term loans.)

The policy made sense when the banking industry on the verge of a calamitous collapse that would have plunged the world into another Great Depression.

It guaranteed a great yield spread between what banks paid for money (including deposits) and what they charged for loans.

And let’s be clear. The Obama administration and Federal Reserve have been willing to do almost anything over the past year to help the banking industry.

They’ve certainly done far more for the banks than they’ve done for the typical family coping with the economic fallout from the financial crisis caused by all of the banks’ irresponsible lending.

What Obama and Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke clearly didn’t anticipate was the industry’s ungrateful response and the public backlash those arrogant bankers have unleashed.

This policy requires millions of us to sacrifice even a modest return for our hard-earned savings to help a banking industry that slaps us in the face at every opportunity.

The banks won’t help us save our homes from foreclosure by modifying our mortgages. They relentlessly raise the rates on our credit cards to unconscionable heights, cut our credit limits and impose all sorts of fees and penalties if we’re a second late with a payment.

Whatever public support existed for bailing out the banks has been squandered and Obama is going to pay a fearful political price if he and Bernanke continue on the current course.

Is America going to hell?

Is America going to hell?

Not according to James Fallows. He thinks it's cyclical and it's an American thing to keep analysing and comparing ourselves with other countries. He says we've been doing it since the pilgrims landed. He has been living in China for two years and has now returned and when asked about China versus the United States, he made the point that most Chinese still do not have indoor plumbing, so even though it seems they are on our doorsteps and getting ready to take over, he doesn't think so. Read his article in the Atlantic and/or watch the video.

Joseph Campbell-Find your bliss

What does find and follow your bliss mean?

Steve Martin, comedian, actor, musician

..WISH THERE WAS MORE.

How to live to 100

MALLOMAR COOKIE UPDATE

On a previous post, I spoke of finding to my great delight that my super market stocks MALLOMAR cookies. As a sort of update I must tell you I have finished consuming the entire box and thought I would pass along box text about the cookie.

Mallomars were created by Nabisco in 1913 and first sold to a grocer in West Hoboken NJ. The metropolitan New York City area boasts the most loyal Mallomars fans. More than 70% of all Mallomars sales are generated in the shadow of the Big Apple.

I love them still, but I must tell you my love will have to be shared now with a johnny come lately product that is very very similar to the Mallomar. It is Pin Wheels also made by Nabisco. I will have to buy a bag of Pin Wheels next time we're at the store and make a completely unbiased comparison, but I am sort of reluctant to say I think the new cookies I think will win. Ah so sad, but no, now I can have two great cookies to choose from.

Move your money-Part two

Just before New Years I ran a video about moving your money. It was sort of a little shot at big banks. Well it seems it is catching on a little. Here is the latest.

Missing, sort of.

OMG I have to confess, I may be responsible for the disappearance of hundreds of those poor, but very tasty cookies if I may be so bold to call them that.

An interview with David Brinkley

My personal favorite of the big three television anchors who co-anchored with Chet Huntley on NBC.

Walter Cronkite-A REPORTERS LIFE

An interview in 1997 with Brian Lamb on Booknotes. One of the best, if not the best television journalists. Video runs about an hour.

going home from new world symphony

The Face of George Washington

The face of George Washington was painted by many painters, that depicted his appearance differently in almost all of them. Luckily George allowed face masks to be crafted from time to time so we have a much better idea of how he really looked in life.


The real face of George Washington.

Find out more about Early America at this site.

How to Justify a $3,000 Coffee Maker

At first glance, this would seem like insanity. BUT,

This Christmas my wife bought me one of those one serving coffee makers which I have fallen in love with. We are starting to get a small collection of different brands and some ground from beans. This will probably be as exotic as we will get, except you can purchase pods of coffee so you don't have to measure it out yourself, but I can almost understand how you can get addicted to the beverage. Read the figures and it adds up.

How to Justify a $3,000 Coffee Maker

George, George he is everywhere-from NY Times

All about George Washington, not too serious and kind of fun to read, and scan the pictures. I used to live just up the parkway from Mt. Vernon many years ago, and looking at the picture of the chairs on George's porch overlooking the Potomac was a little nostalgic.

OH YES, I REMEMBER IT WARMLY

I remember it well. One day it was the neighborhood gang of boys who were at the center of every activity that boys can think of. There was sports of course, baseball specifically, bicycle riding, comic book trading, soda pop swilling, and every other thing under the sun from dawn till darkness. It was filled with male companionship and the world was good. And then...

One day everything changed. The neighborhood gang didn't know what happened. All of the sudden it was one member short. I had discovered that girl. What exactly was it about her? Granted she was much better looking than the gang. She never threw out an ultimatum, the gang or me, but it was no contest, she won hands down. Like all boys I found the non-boy who I wanted to be with as much as possible. She was not as certain about me though. In those days going steady was a passage we went through, and steady with me was not something she was too certain about. Breaking up though was not something that deterred me for long. In that contest I prevailed and that slim young girl has been with me now for over fifty-four years. She still is as good looking as she was in the days when I left the neighborhood gang as all boys invariably do, and even though I remember the gang warmly, it was indeed no contest.

Small pleasures do the trick for me now; Sweet.

As you age things you never much thought of can make your day, or mine to be more specific. We visited a different supermarket today to pick up a few things and saw that this store stocks products that we thought were no longer available. As I said before small pleasures can make our day. My wife pointed to an item that has been off our shelves for many years. It was Mallomars, a little chocolate covered marshmallow cookie. It made my day. It was like I was revisiting my youth. We found another item that seemed to be gone but has made a new appearance in this new to us store. More discoveries were made and very soon now I will remove the box of Mallomars from the fridge, pour a big glass of milk and celebrate the cookie I thought I would never taste again.

Guy Talk

The Cleveland Indians signed two players yesterday to minor league contracts. I like it. One is David Duncan's son Shelly Duncan who led the international league in HR's last year; and the other is Austin Kearns, former Cincinnati Red of a few years ago. Kearns has been a bust since leaving the Reds. Both deals offer no risk to the Indians, and you just don't know what might happen. Lighting may strike.

Three funny cartoons from the New Yorker





I keep getting that feeling that I would like some interest offered on certificates of deposit.

living in a plastic box

Living on nothing but food stamps

DOWNER ALERT!

I read these two articles yesterday in the New York Times, and could not get them out of my mind. I try to put myself in these peoples place and it is nightmarish to even think about. I can't use the old bromide and catchall phrase of 'We're America, we ought to be able to do something about this'. But no, it's all over the world. Can you imagine living in the plastic box. I guess that is one step up from on the street, but OH MY GOD. What a life of desperation, or fear, of need and want. God, let me die would be my nightly prayer.

Hey old timers, there is a program on PBS called Life (Part 2) I just discovered. A little late maybe, but I've perused some of the past programs and I like it. Here is just one on a topic that all of us over a certain age think about. Video is about a half hour long. Subject is how our bodies age.

A video book review.

General Grant, the great soldier and Mark Twain, American writer, who it was said hated war became fast friends while Twain helped Grant write his memoirs. Here is about an hour interview with the author of the book. It was written in 2004 by Mark Perry and he is interviewed by Brian Lamb of C-Span.

Ohio State wins

ESPN recaps it all.

From Shorpy this view of a unique architectural wonder, the flatiron building in NYC. Click full view and view the surroundings. It's a history lesson.

From Ger Appledoorn's Fabulous Fifties.
This is funny, but I am struck by how some people think funny and can find humor in most any subject.